How to Terrify Your Students, Piss off your Bosses, and Lose Faith in Humanity

You'd probably like to hear what happened after the little fiasco last week.  I'll tell you.

Predictable, horrifying, hilarious

Given my students' disrespectful attitude, I thought it would be highly appropriate to do the Mean Teacher write-an-essay-about-how-much-you-suck thing.  So, the next class we had, I did just that.  I made them write an essay on how to respect people.

I see nothing wrong with doing this.  Frankly, given the bullshit I'd been putting up with all term, I should have done it a lot sooner.

I also told them, as a scare tactic, that any bad behavior or wrong move on their part would result in marks being taken off the final exam.

The results were at once predictable, horrifying, and hilarious. 

First, the kids who'd been absent the prior lesson came in, sat down, and very nervously cranked out a 5 paragraph essay about Respect.  Of course, those who had nothing to do with the situation took it very seriously...meanwhile, those with the worst attitudes refused to participate.  They simply couldn't fess up to their own bad behavior.  The absolute snottiest girl in the class (the one who always walked in half an hour late and spent her time talking over me and flunking exams) of course refused to work at all.  Actually she stormed out when I had the audacity to tell her to stop talking yet again.

And the most disruptive students then followed her out.  My firm opinion is, once again, that those privileged with the greatest of resources (academic, fiscal, and otherwise) are the least deserving.  She went crying to the office about how I had the nerve to make her sensitive little ass behave like--God fobid!--an actual student who wants to learn.

So I filed a counter-complaint.

Actually I had filed a counter-complaint on Monday, long before this ever happened.  My boss promised me someone would come talk to them.  (Obviously, no one came to talk to them).  So, theoretically, none of this had to happen beyond the shittiness that culminated Monday night.  And, theoretically, the central office should have realized there was a problem, handled it, and let the matter drop.

They didn't.

Inferior Superiors

So they sent someone in Friday to address the class after the lesson was over.  Please note that I had no desire to teach them in the first place at this point, much less spend the lesson being observed by the central office so they could address the class at the end.

But they did, and that should have been the end of it.  Especially since I told the class we'd begin lessons again on Monday if they were "super good".

But no.

I got a phone call the following Monday and was summoned to the central office.  Four of my superiors proceeded to gather around me, seat me in the dean's office, and berate me for the next 30 minutes for my conduct.  For MY conduct--my students' behaviors were all but condoned.

Their premise was that I was failing in my job as classroom manager--not that my students had been obnoxiously disrespectful for the last X number of weeks.  They told me MY conduct had to improve and that MY actions were all wrong.  Never mind the fact that it's wrong that I can't get markers refilled, papers printed, or have simple requests to higher management taken seriously.  Never mind that.  The company is right, and I am wrong.

I've been teaching for nearly 4 years and never have I ever tolerated a class like that.  Only in China did I encounter anything remotely resembling this, and then I was dealing with over-stressed 10 year olds.  Therefore, I am inclined to ignore condescending, self-congratuatory lectures berating my management skills, especially given that I've survived significantly MORE hardships than any of the pampered men in that room through conditions that would have crushed them all.  I am not a child, nor are my adult students who, by all rights, should know how to behave themselves better.  But I just sort of grinned and bore it, hating them all.  (Of course, if they'd like to pay me to behave like a well-mannered professional in the face of open disrespect and brutal hardship, I'd be happy to open negotiations on this matter.)

Then the school councilor informed me that my emotions had "gotten the better of me".  Actually, what happened was more along the lines of a strategic withdrawal, (disregarded) requests for reinforcements, followed a power move designed to instill fear and respect.  I had the intelligence not to point this out at the time, but I wonder if I would have gotten the "emotions" lecture if I were not female.

Isn't that nauseating?  It's like when someone gets sexually harassed at work and the company moves to protect itself rather than address the grievance of the sufferer.  It's like...just one more thing for me to be adversarial against these days.  My own company, with its own councilor's office, designed to help facilitate student-teacher relations.  The hand that feeds me...why not?  Join the 50 Front War, folks!!

You know why my company berated me as it did?  The bottom line.  That's all they were thinking of--next term's enrollment numbers.  My boss even said so to my face--"We have re-entry fees to think of.  You need to reconcile."  As if I owe any fealty to this place.  As though corporate team spirit is even possible under conditions like these.

Lumps of Human Flesh, Shreds of Humanity

You see, in the degrading world of TEFL, you are an expendable lump of human flesh.  Your worth is reduced to dollars per hour, and you are so worthless, even your health is not worth protecting.  (I'm still blind in my left eye due to a bout of dengue fever in May.)  Your own boss will look you in the face and prioritize re-enrollment numbers over your inherent dignity, health, and well-being...meanwhile giving himself a raise while you struggle to survive below the US poverty line.

I'm not a naive fool.  I knew what it was all about going in, and I know it now.  I knew it when I was robbed of my own most precious object for a mere $25.  I knew it when my parents left me to die here.  I knew it when Chinese moms publicly shredded me at every opportunity, and I knew it when I struggled to force my dying body out of bed for months on end so that I could afford to eat while my thyroid had died.  No one cared for me then, because I am a mere object with no monetary value.  So I'm not in the least surprised that my own company, for whom I have worked for years, would naturally side with shitty, low-quality students whose parents make far more money than I do.

But oh, how I resent it.

We are NOTHING in this world, and working in TEFL really pushes you face to face with that.  NOT a recommended career choice.

LOL.  OK, wow.  

Sorry for that.  I know I'm supposed to be happy and upbeat all the time, because that's the only way I'm legitimately worth listening to, right?  So, sorry for the anti-everything rant.

In the end, I went back to that stupid class, bitched and moaned to my fellow teachers, and just sort of let the students educate themselves without me lifting a finger.  They finished their final exam today, and justice will be administered in some form, even if it's only me taking off points for excessive absences and excessive lateness. 

Not that it will matter when their parents pay the admin to advance them to the next level anyway.

Cambodia - 93289493 / Holyrockthrower - 0

It's official.

After 3 years of managing classrooms solely according to my own resources--through thick and thin, through debilitating illness, through political crises and institutional takeovers--I have finally been forced to resort to using "higher powers".

Generally, I tend to take the attitude that I am the highest authority, and whatever the tangled rest of the organization says or does is strangely irrelevant to me.  I do not refer students to higher powers--I simply deal with them "as is".  If they're crappy, I kick them out or enforce my own consequences.  Likewise, I habitually ignore missives handed down to me by the bureaucracy designed to tell me how to run my class.

That's my general way of handling things--I'm a dictator.

And today I finally met my match.

It built up slowly--

- students disregarding me telling them not to speak Khmer, to refer to me as "Miss Liz", and to turn phones off
- students habitually coming 30 minutes late
- students dragging class time out by chatting during assignments
- absentee rate of over 50% on most days
- locking me out on one occasion
- not doing homework or falsifying efforts
- talking when I was

And pretty much everything else you'd expect from an audience 15 years younger.  Sheesh, I haven't had conduct problems this bad since teaching spoiled kids in China, and even then, there were two teachers to handle it.

Tonight, every time I turned my back to the board to write something, I heard giggling.  Whispering.  Khmer.  I'd turn around and tell them to stop...then it would start back up.  Literally the second I turned my head back around.

After an extremely frustrating 5-minute buildup, I threatened to kick them out or leave myself.  When the class uniformly responded by giggling yet again, I realized walking out was about the only move left to me.

This, for some reason, brought forth gales of (rather derisive) laughter after my back was turned.

So, I kicked down the door and told them off (not using bad words incidentally).  Mainly to scare them into realizing what miserable little shits they were being.  Immature, I know, but not nearly as immature as the response of least one person, who informed me, "Fuck you."

And so that's why my supervisors got a phone call from me today.  The lesson from this is, yet again, Treat people like the shit they are.  They deserve it.

No way in hell is a single one of those kids passing the final exam.  No way.  What utterly useless human rubbish.
 

My Internet.

I have lots of stuff that I want to update.

I've managed to upload my Sri Lanka pictures and have about 20 backdated that will one day be published.  My main problem is internet access--I'm on for a couple of hours two or three times a week, and I generally spend that time doing what's already piled up while I was gone.

This, of course, is because I was robbed in June.  Do understand that.

There's also increasing social turmoil here, which, again, being deprived of reliable internet access, I haven't really been able to report on, or even read much about.  But, I'd like to do a few entries on that as well.

Other than that, all is quiet on the Cambodian front.  The main problem I'm dealing with these days is that, since my return, prices appear to have doubled yet again, effectively eliminating my lunches at the Blue Pumpkin.  Note that I have not received a raise at work, despite the fact that I've worked at this institution for 3 years every day under abominable conditions.  Precisely why I'm ready to move on.

And that's a wrap.