The Teachers' Meeting

School is back in session today.  The previous day, we had a mandatory teachers' meeting...because none of us have anything better to do on our days off than haul our asses in before 8am for a four hour meeting that could easily be compressed into a 25-minute bullet-pointed presentation.

I mean that every bit as insultingly as I have written it.

Every term, we have a teachers' meeting, and every term we review the same material.  Every term, it's mandatory to show up for 2 hours on our days off.

This term's meeting had some new ideas, which it compensated for by doubling in length and stupidity.

First, nearly every speaker is from admin, and everyone knows everyone else.  We, the teachers, all know the speakers as well.  You can see how it's retarded, then, that nearly every speaker spends the first 5 minutes of his/her allotment of 15 minutes rambling on various accolades toward the other speakers in attendance:

I wish, sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, to truly thank my wonderful supervisors...as well as my glorious colleagues...and each and every one of the teachers gathered here today for this opportunity to speak.  I give my highest regards to the most esteemed President of the University.  I likewise give my regards to the Dean for Student-Teacher Relations, the Administrator for Studen Affairs, the Head Dean, and the Vice-Head Dean.  On this most glorious of occasions, I hope to find each of you in the best of health, for it is today that we commence..." blah blah blah, stfu already.  

Even in my punctilious adherence to proper conduct and protocols, I find this attitude to be an extremely difficult-to-accept part of the the culture.  If this were directed outwards during a formal occasion, I could understand that...Yeah, this is a frickin TEACHERS' MEETING.  Just like all the others.

Moreover, Khmer rhetorical style follows that the sort of narration that Westerners usually associate with lecturing small children on "safety"--theatrical, drawn-out, and utterly condescending.  It hammers the same points over and over again.

Add that to starting late (I walked in 25 minutes late and it hadn't begun yet) and you can see why this turned into a five hour meeting.

Some of the monkeyshine highlights:

• Administrator X rather bluntly blamed the entire teaching staff for the school's lower enrollment numbers.  He told us that we weren't making our classes a "happy" place to be, and therefore students are dropping out.  Yes, I'm sure that's the only factor here--the teacher's personality.*  
• One recently-promoted co-teacher blathered on for 90 minutes a "humble story" about the awesomeness of his teaching.  He had been allotted 15 minutes.  You know, it was only funny when Qaddafi did this.
• Apparently, the biggest complaint on the survey (the one they administered during our exam time) was about teachers coming late and leaving early.  (Now I know his ratting was connected to the surveys we endured!)  This was closely followed by complaints about bitchy impatient teachers (glad I'm not the only one).
• The President of the University was quick to add that no surveys had actually been distributed during the exam (implying I'm somehow lying in my earlier entry).
• One administrator made the mistake of asking the teachers what the admin can do to improve learning resources.
• Volunteer:  We'd like access to basic supplies, like erasers, markers, and ink.  *mass cheering and clapping*
• Administrator:  That's out of the question!  That's far too expensive for us to afford.  I mean, what other things can we do?  Do you recommend any textbooks?
• Volunteer 2:  How come we can afford text books, but not basic teaching supplies?  I don't understand how it works!
• Admin:  Well, we get donations from the American Embassy.
• Me:  *You mean we can dictate to the American Embassy which textbooks we get?  What are you guys doing with that $40 hike in tuition fees?*
• Admin: *Shoots down every other suggestion the teachers make*
• Apparently, we are now expected to elect a "class leader" amongst the students who will do homework checks for us.  He will collect a "Homework Portfolio" of assignments that the teacher has assigned throughout the term to turn into administrators--so that it proves teachers are actually assigning homework.  My ass.

I wasn't paying attention to most of it, because I got bored, pulled out my laptop, and started reading an E-book about Hitler instead.  Because reading about a genocidal dictator is more fun than sitting through five hours of that.  One thing for sure is, I'm ain't assigning no "Homework Portfolio".

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*Actually, I'm sure that students are moving their business to ACE, which, since the aforesaid tuition hikes, is only $20 more expensive than our institution, but the staff is paid double what we are and the quality is therefore a million times higher.