In Case You Never Hear from Me Again...

I may not be able to blog for the next few weeks...out of nowhere, my super-sleepy hypothyroid symptoms came back. That's the thing about thyroid problems; the symptoms fade away for a time, then come back full force. Just when you think something is gone for good, you get slammed again. In my case, I suddenly started feeling super-sleepy again, right there in the middle of class, this past Friday.

This isn't your average sleepiness...this is like trying to fight off a coma. It takes over my mind and soul, and I can't focus. I feel lightheaded and become unable to form a coherent sentence. I literally cannot function. This is advanced sleepiness. And it might ruin my next few months.

Anyway, if I start to disappear for weeks on end again, that's why.

Laptop Fixed. Thyroid Down!

I have a lot of stuff to say about pretty much everything, and yet I've posted...what, two times within the last month?

I wanted to do it more often, but first my laptop broke, and I couldn't afford to get it fixed. This is especially true when the technician charges you more than the computer itself is worth because ALL white people have Croesus-like wealth capabilities and generate great piles of cash simply as part of their biological processes.

I speak in bitterness because I finally got a second opinion on the computer this weekend. As a consequence, estimated costs of repair were down-graded from $350+ for a new motherboard to $40 for a thorough check-up and CPU power block repair. My affordably-repaired computer now sits on my lap, its keyboard eager to channel my thoughts and emotions onto the internet.

So for the last five weeks, my laptop's been lying uselessly in a bag in the corner of my room for the ants to explore, unbeloved by friend and foe alike. But that was OK, I could use an internet cafe to write all the posts I wanted, right?

Wrong.

For the last month, starting at about the same time my computer ceased to function, I became completely and utterly hypothyroid. Damaged from months of viral infection and unable to function, my thyroid was finally down for the count. I became tired--debilitatingly tired. Tired like I've never felt before. I had the energy and mental capabilities of a malaria victim.

What this means is that, for several weeks, just getting out of bed was a major effort. Walking down the road to school was a major expedition of gargantuan proportions. Staying awake while teaching class? Forget it. And getting to an internet cafe was simply out of the question.

So that's how I've been this month.

Bad Thyroid! Heal!

If I have learned one thing during my time here, it is: Don't ever get a thyroid infection.

I think I am recovering from one right now, and it sucks. SUCKS.

Sometime in early- to mid-January, my body suddenly started destroying itself. You can read the very long version of what happened to me right here (and it still doesn't really explain everything I went through), but I don't want to repeat it all here. It's grim.

The illness was really, really acute for about the first 4-6 weeks (it's the "near-death" crisis that led me to create this blog). After that, it slowly started getting better, but suffice to say, it's still causing me some grief.

This is your thyroid:

When it's attacked by antibodies or a virus, it starts freaking out, shedding all of it's special "T4" thyroid hormones, which looks approximately like this:

Too much T4 shed into your bloodstream will intoxicate you. It puts you into a hypermetabolic state, turning you into an insane maniac that will eat everything in his/her path. You are also constantly freaked out and convinced that you are going to die.

Recovery has been a long, slow battle to be fought day-to-day, hour-to-hour, breath-to-breath. Hope and pray that you never have to know what hyperthyroidism feels like!

This week, I have been feeling okay (sort of. Except for the bone-weariness, sensitivity to temperatures, and the need to eat entire pizzas four times a day). Next week, who knows? I may feel 100%...or I may descend back to the depths of hell...it's carrying on waaaay longer than the internet says it's supposed to.

I shouldn't rely on the internet to solve my problems, but...the medical establishment denies that I even have a problem. They tell me it's "just stress" or a "bid for attention", or worse, that I am a drug addict. That would be funny if it weren't such an insulting falsehood.

So this is where the start of this blog finds me: trying to get better, and hoping I have nothing worse than a temporary inflammation of the thyroid (although if this is the case, I get to go HYPOthyroid next!).

No, it has nothing to do with Phnom Penh, but if I randomly die, this is probably the reason!